I have this folder on my computer of finished blog posts just sitting around to be published. I don't publish these posts for different reasons. This post is one of those posts. It's been sitting on my computer doing nothing for a while now, and I finally decided I'd publish it. I had my reservations, because I think this post is a bit personal, but it deserves to see the light of day, so I'll get over it.
So here it is, my erstwhile rejected post:
So here it is, my erstwhile rejected post:
So, I have in the past labeled
myself as a Torah-Observant Christian. Whether I still am now is neither here
nor there for the purposes of this post. It is necessary to acknowledge that
“Torah-observant Christian” is something I have called myself, because this
post involves a dialogue surrounding this belief system.
I do enjoy frequenting forums,
though I have not frequented them as often as I used to. During my more active
forum days, I noticed that when debating with Christians online (as opposed to
in-person. People seem to actually have a brain-to-mouth filter in real life),
once people discovered I follow Torah, their default
argument against anything I said would be, “Well, do you follow such-and-such
law in such-in-such scripture?” I do believe that the suppressed premise in
such a question is that if I do not follow such-and-such law, then my entire
argument is bunk. Because it makes complete sense to base an argument’s
validity off of the failings of a simple human being (that was sarcasm).
While
I did learn to tolerate such asinine questions (that is not to say I appreciated
them), there are still specific questions that I find completely inappropriate,
and I am not sure why any person would think it is okay to ask such questions. In
order to explain what I am talking about, I will present you with a common
scenario.
Thread
Title: Are Tattoos sinful?
My
answer: Yes, because Leviticus 19:28 tells us not to tattoo ourselves.
Response
to my answer: Well, do you follow all of the Torah, or are you just picking and
choosing verses in order to form an argument?
My
answer: I follow all of Torah that applies to me as a woman.
Response
to my answer: Oh yeah? Well do you put sticky notes on chairs during your
period to let people know not to sit there?
My
answer: [no reply]
Other questions include: “Do
you immerse yourself in a Mikvah after your period”, “do you not hug people
while on your period”, and then a question about my sexual practices during my
cycle that I think was the rudest and most invasive of them all. Do keep in
mind, these were questions asked by Christians.
Basically, people seem to
think that it is suddenly okay to ask me personal questions about my life just
so they can prove a point in an argument. At first, I would answer such
questions, because I was stupid. But then I realized I was not obligated to answer
such invasive questions, and I no longer do. It is not the business of some
random person online what sort of personal habits I have during certain times
of the month. The only person whose business that is, besides mine, is any
doctor I visit that needs to know such things for medical reasons.
I am not certain what is
going on inside a person’s head when they ask such a question, because it is
not like people just generally go around asking women “What personal practices
do you have during your menstrual cycle?” That’s obscene and rude. No one has
ever asked me such a question in real life, and, odd note of fact, the only
people that ask me online are men. No
woman has felt compelled to ask me that in order to try to prove a point in an
argument. So… why on earth do men think it would be okay to ask me that?
So, the point of all of this
is to discuss how tactless and rude people can be. Maybe in some circles it
isn’t rude to ask women private questions about things that happen behind
closed doors, but in my world it’s not acceptable. It seems to be a very
pervasive problem, even beyond my little sphere of men online asking about my
private practices. I read a blog recently where a woman was complaining about
some stranger asking about her alleged tattoos she had underneath her clothes.
The blogger said it was such a rude question, because people should not be
asking strangers about private tattoos. It’s like asking about their
underclothes.
In today’s society perhaps such
interaction is acceptable. I do not know. I may be behind the times, but I
would like to think there are still private subjects in this world that people
simply are not entitled to know about and have no business asking about.
I really do think it is
partially because people lack a brain-to-mouth filter. They were most probably
never fully taught how to filter what is prudent or imprudent to say. And so
they will say what comes to their mind without thinking it through first.
Whether
we want to acknowledge it or not in this anything-goes society, there is
certain social etiquette by which you need to adhere. Just as it is rude to say
to a fat stranger with a look of disgust “You’re morbidly obese,” it is also
wrong to ask someone personal questions about what goes on behind closed
doors, what they have tattooed to themselves underneath their clothes, what
they are wearing underneath their clothes, and anything relating to their
private members.
Which reminds me… I should make a
rant about men and PMS comments