FCAT (Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test) is a standardized test in Florida that students must take from 3rd-10th grade, with a scoring standard of 0-6. One of the tests is the timed writing, where we are given an essay prompt and must write an essay.
Just like every other student, I hated FCAT, and I especially hated the time writings. Before FCAT, teachers would always give us practice tests, and that included practice time-writings. The essay below is a practice time-writing. The prompt was something along the lines of “What was a major turning point in your life?” Since I hated FCAT timed-writings, I decided to be a smart-alack, and write a farce of a timed-writing. (As I look back on it now, I do wonder what my teacher was thinking while reading this paper, since she most certainly was not aware of the fact that my response to the prompt was a joke. Lol).
I got a 4. Looking back on the essay now, though, I can see why Florida is so low in the National rankings for primary and secondary schools. I can’t believe I got such a high score on this piece of bologna.
All that being said, all errors in this paper are from the original.
Imagine being awoken at three o-clock in the morning from the wailing of your two-year-old baby who just had an “accident” while sleeping. Isn’t it just horrid to have to get out of your comfortable bed just to go change your child’s diaper? I’d say it is. Now, imagine not being awoken at three o’clock in the morning, and not going to change your two-year-olds diaper. Isn’t it just divine to get to sleep the whole night through? I know for my parents it was, but not only was it divine for my parents. When I stopped having to get my diaper changed every night and day, my life changed completely. Becoming one-hundred percent potty-trained was a major turning point in my life because adults treated me so differently and my days were much less hectic without the constant diaper changing.
Getting a diaper changed every other hour was definitely not my favorite past-time. I would be running around with my sister and brother, and then low-and-behold my mama would sweep me off my feet and carry me to the diaper-changing table. What a great way to ruin a gal’s fun time! But, once I became potty-trained my mama no longer had to interrupt me in the middle of my games. I could run around all day acting crazy, like little tikes do, without having to worry about diaper-changing time. Next to running around all day, I also got to sleep all night. I would no longer wake up in my dirty sheets, and taking baths every morning were a thing of the past. Yes, my life was pretty darn good.
Of course, every Yin has a Yang. My Yang was becoming a “big girl”. When I became potty-trained grown-ups became complete idiots! They decided that since I no longer did that babyish thing, called “messin’ my pants”, then I was no longer a baby, and since I was no longer a baby I could no longer be treated like a baby. Crying for something I wanted was a definite No-No. Saying “no” all the time was not cute any longer. It was disobedient and rude. Getting snacks whenever I wanted them was called glutiny (as if a two-year-old even knows what that word means). Becoming a “big girl” was definitely a turn for the worst in my short, little life. Every cloud does have a silver lining, though. When I became a “big girl” I got a few privelages. I was the center of attention in the adult world, and that was fun, because when you’re the center of attention in the adult world you get handfuls upon handfuls of sweets. Yummy! Another privelage was getting bedtime switched from eight-thirty at night to nine. Although, I can’t really say I could ever keep myself up till nine, but it’s the thought that counts.
So with my new bed time and longer playing time my life changed in ways unimaginable to babies not yet potty-trained. Becoming potty-trained may not be a turning point people talk about often, but it is one of the most important. It is a drastic change in one’s life that comes and goes, and then is never addressed again. It is just forgotten by all and locked away in the deep recesses of ones mind. But, I’m here to say it is an important turning point in every persons life. I mean, really, could you imagine a world in which no one became potty-trained?
Upon typing that all out, I must say that is a wonderful piece of fiction. I don’t know if anything I wrote in that paper is true to my life, since I simply made it all up on the spot. Yay for malarkey!
One thing is for certain… I have always been horrible at grammar. Three cheers for the Florida Education System!
[Yes, I know I just made a blog post about 5 minutes ago. I couldn't help myself with this one though. I post one of my writings, and had to go look through the other ones I have kept over the years. I found this little jewel from my sophomore year in High School and decided I absolutely had to post it now.]